Well so much for writing every day. I was all gun ho and ready for new beginnings and new adventures! Then, A few days after my first post, I woke up with no hearing in my left ear. Being hearing impaired since I was 6 I immediately new this was not a good sign.
I immediately went to an ENT and found out that I may have SSNHL (Sudden Sensory neural Hearing Loss). Its where one day you just wake up and have no hearing. Happens to like 5% of the population. GO ME! It was a rough way to start and adventure. You don’t realize how much you depend on something tell it is taken away. I was started on a high does steroid treatment and have had very inconsistent results. It has been a very very very negative few weeks. Lots of tears and fears.
BUT now that it has been a few weeks and with the support of my friends family and most importantly my boyfriend I know I can beat this. By being the optimistic amazing person I am, I am coming to terms with all of it. (Kind of). I am focusing on the things that this can teach me not the things it is taking away.
“It is not the problem that is the problem. It is your attitude toward the problem, that is the problem” ~Captain Jack Sparrow
Now I don’t take little things for granted. I used to complain when my dog would wake me at 5am wining to go outside. Now I am so grateful on the days I can hear him wine. I treasure every sound my boyfriend makes, even if it is a fart or a snore because I know I may not hear that again tomorrow. I treasure my eyesight, my strength, my ability to smell, touch, move, and think. I have also come to to realize the importance of facing people when talking. Being fully engaged in conversations, giving all my attention to that person. Not that person and what time it is, or what is going on over on that wall.
It is far from over. I am going to regain my hearing back. I am a success story. We are going to figure out what is wrong and fix it. Technology is so amazing now I could get a cochlear implant and hear things I never even new existed! This is the beginning of my journey. For what ever reason I needed this to happen so it would kick start me into my life. I put the positive frequency out there saying I want more and this is what I got.
I do believe that next new years eve I will be laughing at how much I cried this past week. I will be in a place that I can only begin to imagine right now. Maybe I will be in an amazing career that I love. Or I will be celebrating marring my best friend, or I will be in my dream home with a HUGE fire place! Who knows, I do believe that everything happens for a reason and I am going to be better than I was before.