Daily Affirmations: the LIES we tell ourselves


Affirmations: A statement said with CONFIDENCE about a perceived TRUTH.

I wrote a post a wile back that talked about feeling your daily affirmations. It has been a while since I have wrote that and I feel like I am still in the same boat… ok not really, I have been kicked off the boat and I am drowning. I feel like things have not gotten better and my anxiety and stress are through the roof. By saying all these positive things, and felling the positive words flow through me, aren’t I supposed to feel better for longer than 30 seconds.

Today I feel like I am about to break. I feel like I am so burnt out, stressed out, and just down right depressed. I took a few moments this morning to look back on the week to see where it all went to shit, and noticed that there have been some really negative people in my life lately. There is this guy at my day job that is likes to talk, and is normally really fun to talk to, but lately he has been venting all his problems to me. Me being the nice person I am, listened and indulged in his drama filled story tell the end. By the time he walked away I felt so angry and drained. I felt I needed a hot shower to get the negativeness off of me. He drained me of all the positive energy I had. Then, at my second job there is this gal that is a young army mom, that has this job to get away from the drama at home. All she does is vent about her kids and how her husband doesn’t know how to handle them when she is not there. Now I get she probably doesn’t have many friends, and she needs time to let off steam, but dang it took all my energy not to slap her and tell her to shut up!

I am a nice person. I am a great listener and give great positive advice. These are two traits about myself that I love.  But lately I have attracted some very negative people to me. I HAVE ATTRACTED THEM TO ME! Knowing that I attracted them to myself, I knew that something was wrong with the way I was thinking.

The definition of Affirmation is: a statement we say with confidence about a perceived truth. We need to say our affirmations with confidence, and FEEL the words being said. I have written blog post about this, I feel I have this part down. However, the second part is where I think I am getting it wrong. The part about the truth. This is where I am failing, and this is probably why positive affirmations are not working for me. I don’t believe what I am saying. When I say ” I am am money magnet”, I feel the positiveness, I imagine the money in my account, but a little voice in my head says “not a very strong one apparently”. Or I look my self in the mirror after saying it and say “sooner than later please”. I don’t believe it is going to happen. I feel like what I am saying to myself is a lie. Lying is not a positive trait. I am trying to be positive by lying to myself. If I know an affirmations is a lie why would I believe it.I need to find a way to say affirmations that I believe are true.

Instead of saying “I am a money Magnet” I am now going to say ” I allow the financial abundance to flow into my life”. This way it is a choice for me. When the money comes I will allow it to come into my life. Logical right. I am not a weak magnet that will hopefully get money to come to me. I am declaring that money is coming, and when it does I will accept it graciously.

Instead of saying ” I am 128 lb beautiful woman” I will now say ” I am healthy and I allow my body to return to its natural vibrant health.” Again a choice. I am allowing my body to change into a healthy version of itself. I am not overpowered by the number or how my cloths fit. I am simply healthy and health is drawn to me.

I cannot lie to myself anymore. I am attracting negative people in my life and I don’t have time for it. I want fun, vibrant, exciting people in my life. I want to celebrate milestones with people, I want to laugh with people. Don’t get me wrong, people can come to me with problems and I will listen and make it the best of the situation, but it wont drain me! No more lies! I am going to make these affirmations work for me!  I believe them. They are truths I am speaking into my life!

Be confident and believe what you are saying! That in itself is a positive thing!

Before Something Great Happens, Everything Falls Apart


I admit, this positive thinking, Law of Attraction, stuff is hard. I have had a rough couple weeks with it. I have been tested and pushed more than I would have hoped. I waked up every day and say what I am thankful for, I look at positive quotes every day at work, and say my daily affirmations. Yet things seem to be getting worse. Do they always have to get worst before they get better or is it me?

I keep reading and researching the LOA and how you need to FEEL grateful, skinny, rich, in order to attract those things to you. Honestly, that last like two minutes. I have felt more depressed lately than I have in a long time. Is that why things are worse? Or is it a test that if I feel good while things are bad than they will get better? Why are there test? Why can I not attract Abundance? Is this normal? AHHH

I think I need a mentor, a coach, or someone to talk to. I refuse to believe that life is a struggle! I refuse to believe that this is all that life has to offer us! I refuse to believe that this is normal! I refuse to believe that it always gets worse before it gets better! Life shouldn’t be a struggle. It should be an amazing adventure fulled with Joy, Travel, Abundance, amazing Experiences, good people, great food, love, Passion, and excitement! I refuse to believe that the life that I have been living is it! I refuse to believe that this is what I am meant to do! I have to much FIRE, to much SPIRIT to have this be it.

I am meant to travel the world! I am meant to have an abundant career! I am meant  for so much more that this! I have too much passion for life to be where I am at. Why am I in debt up to my ears, working two jobs just to make ends meet? Why cant I find my career? Why cant I be the woman I know I am and travel the world? Is it Fear? Lack of Opportunity? My Attitude? WHAT!!!! I feel I try. Every day I research how to get there. Motivational quotes, websites, books, you name it! I am a positive person, I try my darnedest to be positive. What am I missing?

All questions I intend to figure out….. If they really do get worse before it gets better, than something great is about to happen in my life.

One Day at a time. Here we go.

Negative December. Be Positive Remember.

Well so much for writing every day. I was all gun ho and ready for new beginnings and new adventures! Then, A few days after my first post, I woke up with no hearing in my left ear. Being hearing impaired since I was 6 I immediately new this was not a good sign.

I immediately went to an ENT and found out that I may have SSNHL (Sudden Sensory neural Hearing Loss). Its where one day you just wake up and have no hearing. Happens to like 5% of the population. GO ME! It was a rough way to start and adventure. You don’t realize how much you depend on something tell it is taken away. I was started on a high does steroid treatment and have had very inconsistent results. It has been a very very very negative few weeks. Lots of tears and fears.

BUT now that it has been a few weeks and with the support of my friends family and most importantly my boyfriend I know I can beat this. By being the optimistic amazing person I am, I am coming to terms with all of it. (Kind of). I am focusing on the things that this can teach me not the things it is taking away.

“It is not the problem that is the problem. It is your attitude toward the problem, that is the problem” ~Captain Jack Sparrow

Now I don’t take little things for granted. I used to complain when my dog would wake me at 5am wining to go outside. Now I am so grateful on the days I can hear him wine. I treasure every sound my boyfriend makes, even if it is a fart or a snore because I know I may not hear that again tomorrow. I treasure my eyesight, my strength, my ability to smell, touch, move, and think. I have also come to to realize the importance of facing people when talking. Being fully engaged in conversations, giving all my attention to that person. Not that person and what time it is, or what is going on over on that wall.

It is far from over. I am going to regain my hearing back. I am a success story. We are going to figure out what is wrong and fix it. Technology is so amazing now I could get a cochlear implant and hear things I never even new existed! This is the beginning of my journey. For what ever reason I needed this to happen so it would kick start me into my life. I put the positive frequency out there saying I want more and this is what I got.

I do believe that next new years eve I will be laughing at how much I cried this past week. I will be in a place that I can only begin to imagine right now. Maybe I will be in an amazing career that I love. Or I will be celebrating marring my best friend, or I will be in my dream home with a HUGE fire place! Who knows, I do believe that everything happens for a reason and I am going to be better than I was before.