We sit here and look at social media, and the news and hear about all these wonderful things happening to people. The “Chewbacca mom” getting thousands of dollars for being funny, waiters getting HUGE tips to follow their dreams, a good samaritan paying off medical debt. Though I am happy for those people, I cant help but thing why not me.
I keep thinking about these certain scenarios and have come to realize that all these people all did something. The chewbacca mom posted a video, the waitress was extremely nice and attentive working odd hours. All these people did something. This made me realize that I am not really doing anything. I am working three jobs, but I am not nice and attentive, I am kind of depressing. I am not having fun posting videos, I am worrying about things I cannot control. I am not networking positively to the universe. I need to do something.
I have written about this before but never realized that I really don’t do anything. Making lists is making me accountable for my actions. I am realizing how low I have sunk. I need a list to tell myself to do laundry, dishes, work out, clean the house, apply for jobs. You don’t realize how bad you are in tell you write it down and look at it.
The past few weeks I have felt like I have been in the five stages of denial. I finally the other day admitted that I was depressed. before that I was angry that I am where I am, I tried to bargain my way out of it by selling my car lowering payments, when that didn’t work I realized that I am depressed, and now I am accepting my situation. It sucks, life doesn’t owe you anything. You need to work for it.
I need to DO something. I need to act. I need to climb out of this. I need a plan. My list help me to create that plan. It is a start. But we all need to start somewhere. I need to get my finances in order. I need to put my head down and DO. I need to stop comparing myself to others and DO something about it.
I hope that others in my situation read this and know they are not alone. It may feel like it because you have pushed all your friends away, and your family doesn’t know how to help (or you don’t want to ask them for it). But I promise that we are on the right path. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. This is the hardest lesson in life to learn. Life doesn’t owe you anything, BUT you owe yourself everything!
Lets do this!
List = Change