Back in January I wrote about Paradigms and shifting my paradigm. It has been six months of struggling with my paradigm and I feel that things have gotten worse. But as I read that post again, I see that the goal was not to be better but to start change. The goal was to shift from my ordinary. Do something different.have an adventure. I had jumped out of my comfort zone and into a realm of unknown.
No one ever says change is easy. Lots has changed in my life. I have learned to budget better, I have learned to work more and harder, I have learned to prioritize, I have learned to not hold things in. I have learned that I need to have more respect for myself. I have learned what I was doing was OK, but to be great I need to change.
These past few months have been the hardest of my young 29 year life. I can either dwell on them or learn from them. I sit here again in Starbucks applying for my 50th job this week, and I have to consciously make the decision to be positive. It is not easy. I am learning that life hands you lemons, and in order to change you need to learn to make apple juice. I used to take it one day at a time. But soon that became to hard. Now I take it moment to moment.
I am changing, I am clearing out the bad to make room for the good. It is painful, but I have hope.
H.O.P.E = Hold On Pain Ends
I have faith that things will get better. But it all starts with me. Like I said in my last post. I need to start being proud of me. Once I master that I am sure it will all come together. You need a strong foundation in order build up. I have been knocked down to rock bottom and before I can go up I need to strengthen my foundation. I need to strengthen me. I need to push out the bad. Force myself to see the good. Make it a habit. Make it my Paradigm.
I used to do this daily, but I am not that person any more. I am so different than I was before. Before I didn’t know struggle, I didn’t know defeat, fear, or loss of pride. I was a great 125lb sexy, college graduate with the whole world in front of her. It just so happens that it slapped her in the face. This new me has different needs. This new me has different strengths. It is time to begin this life and stop dwelling on the past. I am a new work of art. A masterpiece.
One moment at a time.
$80,000 a year
All by September