“Stress is caused by being here but wanting to be there, or being in the present but wanting to be in the future. It is the split that tears you apart inside.” – Eckhart Tolle
Last night I sat down and realized how stressed I really was. I just got done with a killer work out and should have been relaxed and wiped out, but all I could feel was the tension in my neck and shoulders and the anxiety building in my throat. There was no reason for my body to be reacting this way. I worked out, I ate well, my job is not hard, I don’t have to pay rent, I have a loving boyfriend at home for me. Nothing major to be freaking out about.
When I got home I had to sit down and really think to get my self to calm down. Just then I realized (or decided to acknowledge) that I have been living my life worrying about the future. I believe this is #1 reason I am so stressed out. I want to buy a home, but don’t have the money. I want to get married, but I am afraid to make the wrong choice. I want to retire someday, but my job now does not offer 401K. I want my hearing to come back, but that may not happen. I want this bump on my arm taken off, but that cost money I don’t have. I want to get my dog his surgery, but that also cost money. All these things are in the future and I cannot do anything about them today.
Our bodies have a funny way of telling us when to just shut up and listen.
I ran across this quote about not mastering all of your life in just one day late last night. And I came to the realization (or decided to acknowledge) that I only have control of what is in front of me right now. I need to work on mastering today first. Once today is mastered, things may start falling into place. I then made a list of all the things I have been stressing about and what I have done to get them fixed.
- I have been talking with a lender about buying a home (home buying is a lengthy process).
- I am in love with my boyfriend that is all I need right now.
- I am saving money by staying with my mom, that helps with saving for retirement.
- Called the Vet regarding a possible payment plan for my pups surgery.
- I made a Dr. appointment for my arm, that is step one in getting a cost for my surgery.
- I am on meds for me hearing, and praying for a miracle.
WHAT MORE CAN I DO
I need to keep remembering this. I have done all I can do. I am in the process of getting these things done. I have a plan. Lets now focus on today. I keep looking at the big picture and I am missing all the fine little details. Its like going to Florence Italy and forgetting to go to see the Statue of David. Yes you have been there but did you see all its glory. I am here today yes, but am I living in all its glory.
Lets master they day.
A Girl and Her Thoughts 