Tag: optimism

Change is Coming: My Motivational Monthly Rant

I have been looking back on the past few months and have noticed that I have become more and more negative. I used to pride myself on being positive and optimistic, easy going and affectionate. But I have changed. Negative thinking has changed me.

Ever since my hearing scare in November I have been struggling. Struggling with my health, my weight, my finances, my purpose, my place, everything. Just when I feel like I have a grip, something else happens. I have let myself slip into a negative tornado of dust. Spinning uncontrollably, unable to breath. It has to stop. My storm is still spinning, but the negative thinking has to stop.

I know there are many times I have said “today is the day”, but each time I am tested and fail. The way I look at it is every time we try something and fail, we learn something. I have learned something every time I have tried to be positive. It is not easy. It is a daunting task that is ongoing. It only takes one little thing to brake the gates that hold back the negative thoughts. Just one thing, could be a look from a stranger, cloths that don’t fit, telling someone your profession when you are not proud of it, being at your job that you are not proud of,  being late on rent (again). No matter how hard you try something comes up and reminds you of the lame reality you live in.

Change is hard, but nothing worth having is easy. The last few weeks I have been mad a the universe. I am mad that I have to go through these things when my perfect siblings don’t. People keep telling me they will go through their own demons, but still. It is not fair. Life is not fair. Karma doesn’t come around. You create your own reality. I have been sitting her waiting for life to bring me things. Waiting for the universe to give me my dose of karma. Waiting does nothing. I need to create my own reality. I am in charge.

I can do this. I can change my life. I am working on it the best I know how. Hope is the only thing keeping me going. My belief that there is more to life than this, is the only thing keeping me dreaming. I believe there is something more out there. I believe there is a purpose or level of satisfaction that I can reach. I am tired of being here. I am tired of not having what I want. I am tired of working 3 jobs and not being able to afford rent. I am tired!

A part of me is so pissed at the world that I am about to scream. I am about to break out into BITCH mode and take what is mine. (In a positive, legal way of course). I have hit the breaking point. I am done. I am ready for the biggest and brightest. I am ready to jump. I am ready to have a job with 401K options, I am ready to buy a home, I am ready to have friends, true friends, I am ready to get married, have kids, travel the world.

It is time to live not struggle!

Change is coming.

 

Is Faith the Missing Piece?

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I have always been a spiritual person. Some times more than others. When things were good I went to church for the music, to de-stress and hear a good word. But once I was “saved” the word didn’t do anything for me. I didn’t get the same meditative clarification. My pastor was a great evangelist. He was great at bringing people in and getting them excited, but he didnt do well at keeping people involved. He lost me because of it. I would google messages online and listen to CD’s in the car but it wasnt the same. I didnt get the same feeling, the same peace.

Now I have hit a new bottom and cant see the light at the top. I have never been here before. I keep asking myself, is it because I dont go to church any more, is it because I am running from my family, is it because I dont pray every night like I used to, am I not grateful enough? Where did I go wrong?

Maybe the answer is to just have faith. Faith: to have a strong belief or trust in someone or something, with confidence. No where does it say that you HAVE to go to church, or pray, or be grateful to have faith. Faith is just trust. Trusting in something bigger that we are. Trusting that something somewhere has your back. The universe, God, aliens, our inner self, what ever. Faith is believing everything will be alright.

I think I dont have Faith because I havent had anything I have wanted to happen, happen. (I sound like a spoiled child). I dont trust that anything I want will happen. Trust is that feeling I had when I was “saved”. It was a comforting, clarifying, zen feeling that took all the worries away. I had a sense of peace. Now I am so stressed that my hair is thinning, my body is squishy, and I am depressed.

Now how do I get back to the girl I was? Is this what life is? Is this what people do? Is this reality? I dont want to believe it. I refuse!

I dont think Church is the answer, I think it is all in my mind. I need to find a way to place my faith, my trust in something I cannot see. Something I dont understand. Something that hasnt worked that last few times. Faith.

We all know that photo with the two guys digging to a diamond mine. The one guy gives up right before he hits the diamonds, and the other guy keeps going. The caption goes something like “Dont give up you are closer than you think.” I dont want to be the guy to give up, but I also dont want to be the guy who keeps digging and never finds it. How do you know the difference? When is it too much?

Is this a test or a sign? Is it a test of my faith or a sign to call it quits? Have I failed or am I almost there? How do you know? What is the balance? What is the answer? Faith, blind faith can only get you so far.

Faith is it the answer?

 

 

Daily Affirmations: the LIES we tell ourselves

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Affirmations: A statement said with CONFIDENCE about a perceived TRUTH.

I wrote a post a wile back that talked about feeling your daily affirmations. It has been a while since I have wrote that and I feel like I am still in the same boat… ok not really, I have been kicked off the boat and I am drowning. I feel like things have not gotten better and my anxiety and stress are through the roof. By saying all these positive things, and felling the positive words flow through me, aren’t I supposed to feel better for longer than 30 seconds.

Today I feel like I am about to break. I feel like I am so burnt out, stressed out, and just down right depressed. I took a few moments this morning to look back on the week to see where it all went to shit, and noticed that there have been some really negative people in my life lately. There is this guy at my day job that is likes to talk, and is normally really fun to talk to, but lately he has been venting all his problems to me. Me being the nice person I am, listened and indulged in his drama filled story tell the end. By the time he walked away I felt so angry and drained. I felt I needed a hot shower to get the negativeness off of me. He drained me of all the positive energy I had. Then, at my second job there is this gal that is a young army mom, that has this job to get away from the drama at home. All she does is vent about her kids and how her husband doesn’t know how to handle them when she is not there. Now I get she probably doesn’t have many friends, and she needs time to let off steam, but dang it took all my energy not to slap her and tell her to shut up!

I am a nice person. I am a great listener and give great positive advice. These are two traits about myself that I love.  But lately I have attracted some very negative people to me. I HAVE ATTRACTED THEM TO ME! Knowing that I attracted them to myself, I knew that something was wrong with the way I was thinking.

The definition of Affirmation is: a statement we say with confidence about a perceived truth. We need to say our affirmations with confidence, and FEEL the words being said. I have written blog post about this, I feel I have this part down. However, the second part is where I think I am getting it wrong. The part about the truth. This is where I am failing, and this is probably why positive affirmations are not working for me. I don’t believe what I am saying. When I say ” I am am money magnet”, I feel the positiveness, I imagine the money in my account, but a little voice in my head says “not a very strong one apparently”. Or I look my self in the mirror after saying it and say “sooner than later please”. I don’t believe it is going to happen. I feel like what I am saying to myself is a lie. Lying is not a positive trait. I am trying to be positive by lying to myself. If I know an affirmations is a lie why would I believe it.I need to find a way to say affirmations that I believe are true.

Instead of saying “I am a money Magnet” I am now going to say ” I allow the financial abundance to flow into my life”. This way it is a choice for me. When the money comes I will allow it to come into my life. Logical right. I am not a weak magnet that will hopefully get money to come to me. I am declaring that money is coming, and when it does I will accept it graciously.

Instead of saying ” I am 128 lb beautiful woman” I will now say ” I am healthy and I allow my body to return to its natural vibrant health.” Again a choice. I am allowing my body to change into a healthy version of itself. I am not overpowered by the number or how my cloths fit. I am simply healthy and health is drawn to me.

I cannot lie to myself anymore. I am attracting negative people in my life and I don’t have time for it. I want fun, vibrant, exciting people in my life. I want to celebrate milestones with people, I want to laugh with people. Don’t get me wrong, people can come to me with problems and I will listen and make it the best of the situation, but it wont drain me! No more lies! I am going to make these affirmations work for me!  I believe them. They are truths I am speaking into my life!

Be confident and believe what you are saying! That in itself is a positive thing!

The Power of Choices

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There are millions of quotes on life and millions of programs to help you figure out what your purpose is. There are even more motivational movements and empowering stories. But even with all this positive enforcement, with all this information we have available to us, I find it is impossible to follow unless we make one definitive decision.

With all these programs, Life Coaches, and self-help books, we have an unlimited un-excusable amount of information to help us live the life of our dreams. So why are we not doing it. Why isn’t everyone living their dream life? Why are we sitting here in debt up to our eyeballs, day dreaming at our desk, wishing for that better life?

I believe it is because most of us are unable to make that one defining decision. We all want out of this mess, there is no denying that. We all want to live like Kim and Kanye. We all want to not struggle. We are just unable to make the ONE defining decision that will change our life. It is just one Decision and we cannot seem to make it. That decision is defining that ONE THING we want to do in life and doing it.

That’s it, decide what we want to do and do it.

Fear is an amazing emotion. It is so powerful and can be used in so many ways. I believe that fear is the main reason most of us cannot make this definitive choice. I personally have the fear of making the wrong choice. I have so many things that I am good at, and make me happy. How do you choose just one? I feel most of us are in this boat. We all have so many grand ideas of what we want to do or be, it seem impossible to just pick one. It’s not because we are indecisive, or don’t have time, or don’t think we can do it. It is because we are afraid it will be the wrong choice.

What if this isn’t the right job. Or the right field. Or the right direction. It is scary to think all that hard work will be for nothing and we will live forever in regret for making that choice.

The thing we need to realize is that once we make the decision and stick with it, the universe conspires to make it happen. If we choose one thing and stick with it tell the end the universe will work fast to get it to you. If you don’t back out and go all ahead full, you will get what you ask for quickly. Once you have it you can only THEN can you decide if this is what you wanted. If not start the process over again.

I have always admired my boyfriend for his ability to make decisions. He is always so confident and definitive, never an ounce of regret. I finally asked him how he does it and his answer surprised me. He said “I just pick one. I think it would be awesome to be a Carpenter, or an Engineer, or even starting my own business would be great! But I picked Construction Management and that is what I am going to do for now. At least tell the next opportunity comes along.”

Boom. Mind. Blown.

He is just like me, he has dreams of doing more than just one thing, he thinks there are a number of jobs that he would be amazing at. He just picked one and is going 100%! I was listening to Lori Harder a motivational speaker and life coach the other day and her message was; follow your curiosities because they will lead you to opportunities and people that have the same curiosities. By meeting new people you get opened up to new opportunities. So by sticking with one thing, and going balls to the walls with it, you never know who or what will come from it.

Now the hard part. Picking one.

There is no wrong answer, just solutions. Once you try one way, you find out one of two things. 1. You love what you do and it is your purpose, or 2. This is great but not what I want to do forever. You have ANSWERS! You crossed one off the list. You tried it, you made memories from it, you learned from it. Use those things to attract the next thing to you! Who cares if you are wrong? If you go 100% it will happen fast enough for you to change your mind and try again. Or it will lead you to someone that has an opportunity that would not have been available if you hadn’t done it.

The key is, to make the choice and go 100% with it.

Don’t look back. Just go. Do it with the passion and enthusiasm that you have made the right choice. Think about all the doors that will open and people you will meet. Step one is making the choice. Step two is doing it 100%. Step three is deciding that it is or is not your purpose.

Now for me to just take my own advice.

GO!

Spring is Coming, so is Change!

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This Easter I went to my Grandparents in Boston with my sister. We saw family we havent seen in years. It was great to see them and catch up, but I wasnt myself. I noticed that I was very closed off, I was watching what I said, and I sat in the back of the room. I was not confident at all. I felt like I had nothing worth wile to say or brag about. I have a mediocre job, I have gained weight, and have no plans to change it. Who would want to talk to me? What good do I have to share? That is when I realized I need to change.

Spring is a time of renewal. Trees bud, animals have babies, snow melts and reveals the beauty it was hiding. We can open the windows and let the old air out, clean under the things we put out for Christmas, and start new. Today, after reflecting on how I acted and how everyone acted around me, I have decided to make a change.

I know you have heard me say this before, but it takes time. I have changed a lot in  the past 6 months. My mind mostly has become more clear and positive. But today is different. When I started my blogg I also started a Manifestation Shopping List. It is a list of all the things I want to attract into my life. I dont look at it often but I do add to it. Today I looked at it and read what I had written down when I first started. I was amazed that I could cross some things off that list. With out thought I had accomplished and attracted things to me! I was shocked that I had changed things in my life! Here I was feeling like nothing was changing and I was stuck in this rut, but slowly and surly it is changing.

Here are a few things that I have checked off.

  • Regained my hearing
  • Traveled to see Grandma
  • Traveled to see Lou
  • Traveled to see Chuck and Kathy
  • Find a Career at HD (they called me this weekend)
  • Put my dogs through Doggie Day Care (Had them watched by a Pet sitter this weekend)
  • Started a support group for people with SSNHL on facebook

Small things, but things I didnt think were possible 6 months a go. Now I still have a few things on the list to check off but the fact that I am checking things off is progress! It made me feel like I was doing something right. I was on  the right path. Which in turn motivates me to do more.

Like the buds on the tree. Beautiful things take time to grow. The conditions need to be just right and they need to be strong enough to push through. No matter how slow you go, keep thinking positively and doing little things to change. The little things make a difference!

Spring is coming, so is change!

Start that second job! Start that blogg! Go for that run! Sign up for that gym! Open that bank account! Make that Vision Board! Apply for that Job! Read that Book! Make that Call! Start somewhere! Start doing something! One little thing can change everything! The ripple effect!

GO! Change! Do!

 

What do you Desire, a Job or a Life?

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Desire: A strong feeling of wanting to have something, or wishing for something to happen.

I was talking to a good friend of mine yesterday who, in my opinion, has a very successful life. He works three days a week and parties the other four. He has a home, a boat, three cars, and a motor home that he takes everywhere. He goes on vacation when ever he wants and has an abundance of money. So I asked him what his secret to success was. His answer surprised me.

He told me that he knew what he wanted out of a job before he got a job. He new he didn’t want to work for anyone, he wanted to make a ton of money without working all the time, and he wanted to work with people. So he found something he kinda liked, was good at, fit his criteria, and went for it. He doesn’t LOVE his job but he likes it. But he only has to do it three day a week so whats not to like. He said he would rather like his job and have the flexibility to have a life, than love his job and not have a life.

After talking to him I have decided that I have been thinking about Desire all wrong. I have this quote by Johnny Carson on my mirror that I read every morning that goes:

Desire! That is the secret of every mans career. Not Education. Not being born with                 hidden talent. Desire!

When I read this quote, I think about what job I desire.  Which is great, however, I should be thinking about what I Desire out of a job not the job it self. In all honesty, I don’t know what I desire to do. But I do know that I desire to be wealthy. I desire to work 7am- 4pm Monday through Thursday. I desire to live a joyful abundant life, and I desire to travel the world.

 

So here I am looking for the love of my life in a job, to suddenly changing the way I view my life. Sadly I am in the majority of the population that needs to work to live, so why not find something that allows me to live my life the way I want. I would rather LOVE my life than LOVE my job. I desire to have a life I love. Now I understand that it doesn’t mean having a job I love. There is a balance. Cool! More Decisions to Make!

Cheers to another milestone in my journey!

 

The Secret and Hook

TrailThe more I follow the law of Attraction the more I see it everywhere. I was watching Hook the movie with Robin Williams the other day, and for the first time I realized it was a clear picture of The Law of Attraction. Through out history the have talked about people who new The Secret of the Law of Attraction but this is the first time I have discovered it unintentionally.

Through out the book The Secret they talk about the importance of visualization. In the movie Hook the first trial that Peter (Robin Williams) has, is when he is sitting at dinner and he has to imagine the food being on the table. This is one of my favorite scenes in the movie. He is starving and is watching all the lost boys enjoy this invisible delicious food. Once he lets go of his adult mindset, and plays a name calling battle game with Rufio, he pretends the food is there and it appears. “Your thoughts become things”. Athletes use their imagination by visualizing themselves completing their event successfully. Inventors imagined their invention before they created it. Bob Proctor says you need to visualize yourself being successful and you will be.

Another example of The Secret being used in Hook is the obvious use of Happy Thoughts. I feel I talk about power of positive thinking all the time. In this movie that is the only thing they talk about. Having happy thoughts. Everyone has that one happy thought that makes them “fly”. We all have happy positive thoughts but there is one, just one, that will break us out of our rut and help us soar into our next adventure! It took Peter finding out who he really was to remember his happy thought. This is interesting to me. I feel I am a very positive optimistic person. But I haven’t taken off into my abundant life yet. Maybe it is because I haven’t found my ONE happy thought. Maybe I haven’t found myself yet so I don’t know what my Happy thought is. This is a new step in my journey.

In the book The Secret they talk about the importance of Play. The Adult Peter doens’t remember how to play. In the beginning when he first meets the lost boys he cannot even play a simple game of basketball. He has fear and is worried about how the lost boys are not wearing helmets, have no supervision, no rules. He is not in the moment. He doesn’t realize that they are happy and they are living their life to the fullest. They don’t worry about helmets, supervision, rules, or food. They just play and imagine that that day is the best day of their lives. No worries, no fear, no anger. They Just are.

Lastly, the example of having child like faith and belief that good things are happening. The lost boys are children, they are happy, they have faith that everything is going to be ok. They believe you when you say you will be right back. Children believe you when you tell them something. We always tell kids you can be anything you want when you grow up. They believe that they can be anything they want! They take a box and create a rocket ship because they want to be a astronaut that day. The next day they take the same box and it is a race car! They believe that they have control to be and do anything they want. Children understand The Secret before they even know it is a secret.

The movie Hook shows us that the craziness of life can distract us from who we are (Peter growing up) . That life can take things from you (his kids get kidnapped). But it takes something being taken from your for you to remember who you are (your Happy Thought). It shows us that being a child and having that joy that children have, that innocence is important. It allows us to be happy now, enjoy the little things, believe that life really is wonderful. As we grow up that gets taken away. We need to remember to not grow up.

I took a self help seminar a few years back and it followed a lot of what The Secret and Law of Attraction follows. At the end the speaker told us to imagine that we are children in a box. That is all he said. We sat there in silence for a while a lot of us like WTF. Then one Girl goes “OH!”, then another “wow”, then I got it. We have the power to create our lives. Pretend you are a child in a box and you can make that box what ever you want it to be. Imagine your self making $80,000 a year, imagine yourself driving that car, imagine yourself being 128lbs. Believe that it can happen. Have no doubt in your mind. A child isn’t worried about how he is going to get to space, he just is. She isn’t worried about how she is going to fit into that dress for the ball, she just is. She isn’t worried about how she is going to afford med school, she is just going to be a Doctor.

Just by watching this movie, seeing that the Secret is everywhere, has assured me that I am on the right path. I have attracted more positive things, more movies, quotes, messages, to help me continue my journey to my dreams. The Secret is EVERYWHERE. You just have to be open to it. The fact that I noticed it mean I am doing something right! Here’s to being a kid again!

 

Dancing in the Rain

RainToday I woke up and it was raining. A good, hard, crisp, fresh rain. Not only could I hear the rain pattering on my roof, I couldn’t help but feel the change and freshness it was bringing to my life.

“Rain isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…it is about learning to dance in the Rain.”

This quote could not be more perfect for my life right now. Through all the struggles, through all the change, I am still dancing. I am changing my Paradigm. I am making continuous improvements. I have a plan! A positive, wonderful, abundant plan. Filled with goals and dream that I have always been afraid to dream of! Anything is possible!

Sounds silly, strange, too optimistic, but I cannot explain it. I can feel the change. I can only hope that people can see it in me. I hope that who ever is reading my post, following me on my journey, can be as motivated as I am.

My plan:

Track my food with Myfitnesspal

On my morning walks with my dogs think about 10 things I am grateful for. Truly feel grateful, and feel the gratitude radiate from me.

Say my daily affirmations in the morning in the mirror before work.

Take a photo daily so I can be sure to find something beautiful about every day!

Give love for my life and my boys. Show them everyday that I love them!

Attract abundance in every way into my life!

 

$80,000 a year, 128lb sexy body, full hearing, travel, positive abundance, and much much love!

I got this!