Somedays you need a Positive Reminder

i-am

I was reading a blog from @thehappylife101 and she mentioned a quote from Joel Olsteen about the power of ” I AM”. Having just had a really negative day, I needed the reminder.

“What follows I AM comes looking for you.” The law of attraction says what you think you become. It also says, ask and you shall receive. I have been trying to get better at my thoughts, but I have forgotten that what I say has an even more powerful effect on the universe.

I come in to work with the most positive, go getter attitude. Once negativity hits, I do my best to turn it around. However, I come home and I let everything out. I vent and vent and vent and at the end I say “I cant do this. I am so over this. I am done.”

The universe hears this and gives me more reasons to feel this way. It gives me more validation that I am done. I do believe it is healthy to vent out your feelings, however, what is the point of venting if you don’t try and find a solution.

I am a problem solver. I should see these types of days as a opportunity to fix a problem. I should vent with the intent to try and fix it. Maybe I should use more positive words or find a positive motive in the situation. I don’t know. But it has to stop. The amount of negativity that comes out of my mouth at home, is nothing that I even want to be around.

Another thing Joel Olsteen said in his sermon was about the importance of not putting yourself down in front of someone who thinks you are his prize. If you are with someone, you are with them because you think they are everything you have ever dreamt of. You wouldn’t be with them if they weren’t the man or woman of your dreams. So why would you think any less of yourself. Why would you say “I am not beautiful” to the man who has chosen you as his bride. Why would you say “I am not successful” to the man who is your pride and joy, who you are lucky to have. Why would you say “I am not good enough” to the man who fought long and hard for your attention. It is not only degrading you, it is degrading them.

“I AM” is a powerful statement. Make it count. What you say you attract. Ask and you shall receive. I am blessed. I am successful. I am beautiful. I am healthy. I am wonderful. I am funny. I am young. I am strong. I am a big deal. I am a great friend. I am a great sister.

I am going to get better at this.

 

Wake up and Pay Attention

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“If you want to be somebody, if you want to go somewhere you better wake up and pay attention.” ~ Sister Act II

With the new year comes new resolutions, and new goals.  But how often do we really act on them. I was sitting at home on New Years thinking about what my resolution would be, when I realized that the ones I had for this year are the same ones I have had for a few years now. This was also during my month long temper tantrum to the dark side, so I had another beer and grumbled away. But a few weeks later my ex-boyfriends mother (who happens to be a financial planner) called me.

Now I know what you are thinking because I thought it too. It is my Ex Boyfriends MOTHER! I didnt want to offend or hurt my current boyfriend, and love of my life, by talking to her nor did I want to let her think that I still loved her son. But I new that she could help me. I new that no matter how ridiculous my dreams and goals were she would be the one to believe them. I blew it off for a few days, tossing the idea around with the boyfriend, talked about the lofty dreams we had for the year, and came to the conclusion that what we were doing wasnt working and we needed help.

It was a great decision. She is helping us dissect our finances and she believes in our goal no matter how lofty they seam. She is positive and confident, she had an unwavering faith. She also has the answers we have been looking for. Granted it is only Jan 16th, but I already feel better knowing that she is helping us get to where we want to go.

Is it hard? Yes. Is it embarrassing getting your finances dissected to the last penny? Yes. But now we are paying attention.

You dont realize how much you are not paying attention to tell someone points it out to you. Like ladies, how many of you know exactly when your period is going to come? I know I dont. But it comes at the same time every month so we should know. Or how many of you track something that happens to your body like a illness or stresser? How often do you write down what you need to get done for the day and do it? How many times does your budget fail and you dont know why?  All of these things are attainable, we just need to PAY ATTENTION!

Listen to your gut. Pay attention to how much you eat. Pay attention to how your body feels. Really look at your bank account. Watch your calorie intake. Track that weird thing that your arm does every once in a while. Make to do list and do them before sitting down.

The power to be great is at our finger tips. We just need to wake up and pay attention!

Why do we Fall?

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Photo: all_we_are_is_falling___detail_by_snikstencilstuff

I have spent the last few days binge watching a few of the movie series I have in my house. I started with Harry Potter (yes all 7 of them), the Matrix, then Batman (with Christian Bale). All movies with people who endure hardships, much worse than mine, and they never  give up. A few quotes from each movie really stuck with me.

We have both light and dark in us. It is what we choose to act on that determines who we really are. ~ Sirius Black

Why do we fall Bruce? So we can learn to pick our selves back up. ~Alfred

My last post was full of hate and negativity. I was in a place that I didn’t want to be in. I am still there, but my view of it has changed. I thought it would be easier to live in that negative world, I thought it would be easier to just not care. However, I quickly learned that it is not easier. It hurts more, you only find more to be upset about. You never really give up. You want to, oh do you want to. But there is something inside that fights you. Fights against everything you have. Believe it or not it makes it harder to be negative and hateful.

We all have choices. I chose to be on the dark side. However, I still have light in me. I still have a spark. I dont know what this spark is, but I have felt it. It is the only thing keeping me going. It is the real me I have been searching for. The reason for my existence and it is fighting to stay alive.

Why do we fall? We fall to find our spark. We fall and keep falling until we realize that we have much to live for. We have a purpose. It is that one thing that fights you when you want to give up. It is that choking feeling you get when you cry out in pain and anger. It is that gut feeling that even though it is dark something, just something is out there that is good. That hope that something will change.

I have noticed in all of these movies every main character has a crazy grandma (Moana), a crazy mentor (Morphous, Dumbledore), or a care taker (Alfred) that pushes them to be the best they can be. They push them to do that one crazy thing, hold onto that one glimmer of hope. They hold them up when all they can do is look down. After watching Moana I thought about who that would be for me. My family is crazy but my grandparents are very logical, my best friend is in the same boat as me, and I don’t really have a mentor. But I do have my Christopher. My Christopher, who has been my rock, my shoulder to cry on, my positive force of light. He has been everything for me. No matter what my mind set has been he has always been there.

I have not been that person for him. If things were turned and he was the one being negative I don’t know if I could have been as strong as him. But he is my light. He is my little spark. He is the reason that I am still going. Because of him I have not given up. He makes me smile, laugh, feel uncomfortable. He makes me do things I would never think of doing. I holds my hand when a Disney movie makes me cry. He is positive even when we are at rock bottom. I have to do this for him. Someday the tables may turn and I need to be strong for him.

I have to change I want to change. I had to fall to learn who believes in me. I had to fall to learn how to be a positive force. We all fall. It is how we choose to get up that makes up who we are.

Ask

Believe

Achieve

 

 

Whole Damn Fire

In my last post I wrote about how I was afraid of losing my spark. I was afraid that this job was killing me slowly. I was mindlessly surfing facebook when this post caught my attention.

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It was the sign I have been looking for. This may not be the job of my dreams but I cannot let it dull my fire! I cannot let it destroy me! I will not let it get me down! I am a warrior! I have passion and a fiery energy about me! I will not let others take this from me!

I am going into work today ready to conquer it ! I am ready to take on my task and be the best I can be. I am ready to ask questions, initiate meetings, and kick A**!

Some times you just need to stop and look around, the universe is giving you the signs you are asking for. You just need to be paying attention!

 

 

The Fly

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I have been at training for my new job for three days now, and I have been having a hard time accepting my reality. I feel this I am already dreading the job I have to do. I keep reminding myself why I took this job. Why I am here. The goals I have to achieve. But it has not been easy. I keep thinking about how I can do so much better than THIS job.

Throughout my stay here in training (it is out of state) there has been an abundance of Flies everywhere I go. They are in the training room, in the store, in Chilies, in Panara, in the grocery store, in the bank, at the gym, in Starbucks, EVERYWHERE!

I was starting to think it was me (Though I have showered every day I have been here). It was getting so bad that I decided to look up the spiritual meaning behind Flies. Here is what I found.

Reevaluate your thoughts about yourself. You are worth far more than you think!-Fly

If Fly has flown across your path;Know that quick and abrupt changes in your thoughts, emotions and endeavors are afoot. Rapid changes in all aspects of your life are currently happening for you so be prepared to move quickly even in unfavorable and uncomfortable conditions. Fly can also signify an exponentially growing source of abundance is available for you right now. Use your keen eyesight to see the way. Never give up.

Alternatively this insect could be reminding you that your persistence in reaching yourgoals will bare fruit sooner than later. Even if it means annoying others or being selfish for a while – you do have the ability to accomplish your goals.

http://www.spirit-animals.com/fly/

Boom!

I was so shocked. This is my life! This is what I am going through, and this little pest is telling me something!!! I cannot believe a fly would be a positive omen! Abundance, Change, Persistence. I can do this! I can achieve this goal. I need to change my thoughts and get through this. One step at a time.

This little thing is telling me to pay attention. To be aware. Good things are coming.

I needed this today.

Never give up.

Always follow your gut!

 

 

My New Adventure

Trail

I am sitting here in a hotel room waiting for my roommate (who I have never met) who will be joining me for training for my new job this week. I am scared, nervous, anxious, excited, and worried all at the same time. This is my new adventure. This is my new start. This is a new beginning.

I know I am going to be great at it. I know I am going to excel beyond expectations. I know I am going to shine. I am not worried about any of those things. I am worried about liking the job. I am worried that I wont love it. I am worried I will have to start again. I am worried that all this time will be for nothing.

But I keep telling myself, you never know tell you try, you never know who you will meet, and you never know what opportunities will come from it. They say that if it scares you, you should probably do it. Well, here I am. Lets see what this is all about.

I think my biggest fear is disappointment. I hope that this job is challenging, exciting, rewarding, and they promote often. I hope that I love this job. I dont want to get into another job and master it in three months just to be back to square one of looking for another job. I dont want to be disappointed in myself again.

I want to thrive. I want to look my best. I want to be proud of the job I have and be proud to tell people about it. I want to feel good about what I do.

This adventure is about me. My goal is to go into it with a level head, clear mind, and positive energy. I will do my best at everything I do, and even try to do better. I need to set goals every day and achieve them. I can do this. This is a new beginning. Nothing is standing in my way.

Tomorrow I am going to get there early, look sharp, and be in the moment. I wont let my mind go astray. I will focus on the task at hand and look forward to the rewards at the end. I can do this. I am doing this for the opportunities it will bring to my life. Both financially and for my career.

I pray the universe gives me a sign letting me know I am in the right spot and on the right track. I am so afraid that I am making a wrong choice. I know it is a good one logically. I know it is a good one financially. I know it can offer a lot for me career wise. I just hope that it is in line with my purpose or gets me closer to it.

I have faith. I believe that everything happens for a reason.

Wish me luck!

Courage

quote

“The first step to getting what you want is having the courage to get rid of what you dont.”

The other day I decided to take the job that I have been so afraid of. I wrote a wonderful heart felt two week notice letter to my current employer and let him know that it was for financial reasons that I was leaving. At first he only accepted one week of the two that I offered him. This came to a shock to me because I was under the impression that I was well liked there. Monday morning came around for my last week and I get a call from my HR lady (His secretary) and she informed me that my boss doesn’t think I should come in this week. I was stunned. I had never in my life ever been asked not to work the last two weeks of my job.

For a moment I took it personally. What had I done, where did I go wrong, but then I realized that it had nothing to do with me. My boss is pissed that I left his control. He is upset that I will no longer be there to wait on his hand and foot. He was mad that I know better things are out there.

This quote came to me the day I gave my notice. It didn’t mean anything tell Monday. That job was so toxic and negative that it was draining my ability to grow. I had asked the universe for an opportunity to grow and thrive. The universe had to drop me from this toxic job in order for me to see how awful it was. The universe was listening. I didn’t have the courage to let go of this terrible job that was holding me back. It had to be taken from me. It is now Wednesday and I have done nothing but what I want to do for two days and I am a brand new person!!!

I am working out two times a day. I have time to do my crafts and color. I have time to do laundry when I want to. I have time to watch that movie, or read that book. These next two weeks are all about me and getting my mind back to success mode. Once I start this new job I will be at my old 100% self. Ready to take on the new challenge and thrive!

It was a blessing in disguise. The universe was looking after me. I now know if something is bad for me I shouldn’t linger in it too long. I need to get rid of it and move toward the amazing things that life has to offer.

Here’s to moving forward. Here’s to dropping the dead weight. Here’s to having the courage to keep going!

Let this new journey begin!!!

One Simple Change

” You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your cloths every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control thing in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.”

I was on twitter this morning and this quote came up and got me thinking. The first part about choosing your thoughts like you choose your clothes. I sometimes (ok most of the time) dont put much thought into my outfit. I still look nice, I just dont put as much effort as I should in it. Now this could be because I hate my job, or I am lazy, but the point is if I dont put much effort into that decision I know I dont put much effort into selecting my thoughts.

Now over time I have just let the negative thoughts take over my mind. It is the easier choice. I know some of you have noticed that in my post lately. But this quote puts a lot in perspective for me. I need to pay attention to what I wear, how I look, who I smile at. I need to be more present in the moment. I may be physically and mentally exhausted but that is no excuse. I can take ten minutes put a little effort into my looks. Or make a hearty breakfast. Or play with the dogs. I am so focused on how things are going to work out, and how terrible my job is, that I have forgotten the important things that can HELP change my thoughts.

If I show up for work looking HOT people may compliment me (hence improving my mood). If I wake up and make eggs instead of cereal I may make better choices on food the rest of the day. If I play with the dogs before or after a walk they may not eat my shoes while I am gone. It gives life possibilities. 

Right now I am feeling hopeless. By putting a little effort in in the morning it COULD change my whole day. It will take time and effort but I believe this is something I can do. I am a morning person. I can do one more thing. It is worth it for a possibility of things changing.

This is my new goal. In the morning take the time to do something simple. Play with the dogs, make a good breakfast, dress to impress.

New goals new things.

I need to keep changing things up. Staying here is not an option. One step at a time.

Here

We

Go

 

Fear Is Powerful

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I just had a wonderful follower of mine comment on my resent post, and it really shook me awake. I am so grateful for the comment because they were right. I was stuck in a  negative spot and couldn’t see anything but bad things. I was so afraid that all these things could happen that I forgot to see the flip side of the coin.

Fear is a powerful emotion. It can suck you into deep places and blind you from ever venturing out into the light. I have some of my best memories from overcoming fear. I was terrified to ride a motorcycle, but I got my license and now I am a Harley riding bad ass. I over came my fear of heights and climbed up to a fire watch tower (on these stairs that go over a cliff) and saw the best view of Colorado I have ever seen in my life. Sadly, fear was consuming me yesterday.

All I could see was the bad things that could happen. I had my blinders on and was not looking anywhere but. Yes all these things could happen, but so could a ton of positive things.

This could be an opportunity for me to get out of debt. This could be an opportunity for me to shine and have someone see. Maybe even have someone offer me something bigger and better. This is an opportunity to grow and change. It would provide me and opportunity to maybe move back home. My grateful follower also mentioned that this isn’t forever. I can always quit. I can always find something else. Is is scary? Sure, but nothing is scarier that staying somewhere you don’t belong.

I need to change my thinking. I have been negative for so long it is now my go-to process. I need to change that. I need to rewire my brain to think positive again. This wont be a quick fix but it will be worth it. I am going to write this on my list of things to do. Overcome fear. Do something I am afraid of every day. ….

Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here through my journey. Thank you for encouraging me to be the best I can be.

Faith.

List.

Change.

Boom.

The Things You Notice

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Recently there have been little moments in every day that I have notice myself looking at the optimistic side of things. Whether it be looking at the bright side when someone complains to me, or when I let someone cut in that is being a bi*** driving. It stands out in my mind when it happens. It is weird. Maybe, I am starting to do something right.

The Secret say, what you think becomes things. Every thing you are thinking now is your future, think about that. The one quote that scares me the most is the one that goes:

“Ask yourself if what you’re doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow”

My answer today is no. But I feel that I have a clearer idea of what I want. I know I want to go back to school to be a Physical Therapist Assistant. I know that I may need to take a shitty yet higher paying job in order to save to go to school. I know that I want to get married in a barn with pumpkins and pie. I know I want twin boys. I know I want to have a Bungalow with a huge porch ( I also know I want in this home). So today, I am trying to focus on these things instead of stressing about what is going wrong in my life.

I dont have a plan per-se, but I know what I need to do. I know I need to go to school to get the job I want. I know that to go to school I need to find a job that pays more so I can save money for school.  It sounds like a plan but I feel like it is a pre-plan. Until I have an acceptance letter to the school, and the money to be able to devote time to school and school only, then and only then will it be a plan. For now it is just a dream.

I want to be closer to the things that I want. I have felt like lately I have been farther from those dreams than I ever have been. The Secret says “don’t focus on the how, just believe that the opportunities will come to you. When they do you need to act.” Well this is hard. I feel like I have not focused on the how for a long time. I was kinda expecting it to just come to me. I was just like “ok I want this and this and this”. But nothing came. I do believe that you need to just trust it will all work out, but you cannot get accepted into a school with out applying. You cannot win the lotto without buying a ticket. There is a little bit of work you need to to in order to get what you want.

So I applied to a school. I applied for FASFA. I sent in my transcripts. I applied for the higher paying (shitty) job. Now all I can do it believe that the universe is working in my favor.Wait. Hope. Pray.

Like I said I did something and now I notice the little optimistic things that I didn’t notice before. They are little but the fact that I am focused on that I am doing them is a sure sign of good things.

One step at a time.

Make List Make Change.

Believe in your dreams.

I got this.