Tag: The Power

The Things You Notice

fcn38pg

Recently there have been little moments in every day that I have notice myself looking at the optimistic side of things. Whether it be looking at the bright side when someone complains to me, or when I let someone cut in that is being a bi*** driving. It stands out in my mind when it happens. It is weird. Maybe, I am starting to do something right.

The Secret say, what you think becomes things. Every thing you are thinking now is your future, think about that. The one quote that scares me the most is the one that goes:

“Ask yourself if what you’re doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow”

My answer today is no. But I feel that I have a clearer idea of what I want. I know I want to go back to school to be a Physical Therapist Assistant. I know that I may need to take a shitty yet higher paying job in order to save to go to school. I know that I want to get married in a barn with pumpkins and pie. I know I want twin boys. I know I want to have a Bungalow with a huge porch ( I also know I want in this home). So today, I am trying to focus on these things instead of stressing about what is going wrong in my life.

I dont have a plan per-se, but I know what I need to do. I know I need to go to school to get the job I want. I know that to go to school I need to find a job that pays more so I can save money for school.  It sounds like a plan but I feel like it is a pre-plan. Until I have an acceptance letter to the school, and the money to be able to devote time to school and school only, then and only then will it be a plan. For now it is just a dream.

I want to be closer to the things that I want. I have felt like lately I have been farther from those dreams than I ever have been. The Secret says “don’t focus on the how, just believe that the opportunities will come to you. When they do you need to act.” Well this is hard. I feel like I have not focused on the how for a long time. I was kinda expecting it to just come to me. I was just like “ok I want this and this and this”. But nothing came. I do believe that you need to just trust it will all work out, but you cannot get accepted into a school with out applying. You cannot win the lotto without buying a ticket. There is a little bit of work you need to to in order to get what you want.

So I applied to a school. I applied for FASFA. I sent in my transcripts. I applied for the higher paying (shitty) job. Now all I can do it believe that the universe is working in my favor.Wait. Hope. Pray.

Like I said I did something and now I notice the little optimistic things that I didn’t notice before. They are little but the fact that I am focused on that I am doing them is a sure sign of good things.

One step at a time.

Make List Make Change.

Believe in your dreams.

I got this.

 

“I am not afraid of storms, for I am just learning how to sail my ship!” ~Louisa May Alcott

thomasaedison132683

I am starting to learn that this Law of Attraction journey is really a roller coaster of emotions. You start thinking positive thoughts  then something comes around and tests your positive energy. You fall, get back up, and try again.  Then something else happens, you fall, you get back, up and try again. Everything is a test. That is life.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it.

I keep complaining about where I am and what is happening to me. I go up and have weeks of positive energy, then something comes around and I am back to square one of worry and stress. But I always pick  myself back up and continue the cycle.

I dont like this cycle. I want to break it. I keep saying this too.  I look back on post I have written and notice that it is the same cycle different situations. I want to break this cycle. I want to break my norm. I am better than this and I KNOW the universe knows this too!

I am asking the universe for better and it keeps testing me to see if I am ready. Unfortunately I am not. I keep failing. I keep thinking if I had a different job, if I had more money, if I had just did this different, if I lost the weight. But it is not an external battle. It is internal. Nothing can change in your life until you love and have confidence in yourself.

I have written a post like this before too.

I tend to look at myself in a negative way. I am not proud of myself. I look for outside validation from other people to feel good about myself. I fell like a failure.I have gained weight. The whole nine yards. Truth is though, I am good enough.

The fact that I know I am better than this. The fact that I keep looking for more answers and keep trying to move forward. The fact that I keep getting up when I fall. All of these things prove that I am the person I know I can be. I just need to start acting on her. I need to put a plan in to action. I need to react to conflict with confidence. I need to act with a level head and take a second to assess the situation before reacting.

I know I can do this. I need to stop dwelling on the past, on what I was and become what I know I am! I will never be what I was, I will be better!

It is a process. I will probably fall again. But I can guarantee that I am learning and I wont make this mistake the same way twice!

Like Thomas Edison said:

“I have not failed, I have just found 10,000 ways that don’t work.”

Well here’s to 10,001!

The power of HOPE

photo 5

Isn’t the Olympics supposed to be about unity. Aren’t they supposed to be about bringing together great men and women from every nation, and competing on a even playing field. It is  supposed to be a chance for talented people to get together learn each others cultures, techniques, and languages. It should be a time for admiration, encouragement, and growth. But with all the doping accusations going on that dream has died.

My life is hard but I still believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I still believe that life is more than this struggle. The Olympics should be a vision of that hope. Those athletes should be the example of what hard work and dedication is. It should be the vision of what we can accomplish with a little hard work.

Now it is like the Hunger Games, the only difference are there are three victors, and no one dies. It is everyone against them selves. No unity, no hope.

I know not all the athletes are doping, and they are cracking down on the issue, however it still doesnt sit right for those of us who watch it with hope. Dont get me wrong, I am amazed at what some of those athletes can do! They can do things I have only dreamed of doing. Yet they have yet to realize how much power they have being who they are. They need to use that power for good. They are the ones that need to make the world great again and give us hope. Not these presidential nominees. Everyone watches the Olympics. Like the Hunger Games they are broadcast ed everywhere. Everyone is cheering for their district, sorry, their Country.

In this world we are acting on fear. We need to start acting on hope. We need a Katness Everdine to show us that we can do this and we can overcome fear.

“Hope is the only thing stronger than Fear.” ~ President Snow

These athletes have the power to bring us this hope. They have the power to show us that we can be great again. They have the power to unify us as a nation.

Every day in the news it is another sad story about how we are against each other. There is death, corruption, and anger everywhere. We all want the same thing. We all want to live in harmony among each. We can achieve this without cheating.

We should always be able to hope.

We should always be able to dream.

We should be able to fix this.

It starts with us.

 

 

 

It doesn’t do well to dwell in the Past.

 

images

I sit here today dwelling in the past. I miss Colorado. I miss having a home, a good job, good food, and places to shop. I miss my mountains. I miss my friends. I keep saying what if I stayed, what if I took a different job, what if.

I cannot change the past. I cannot re make decisions. Unfortunately I cannot go back to Colorado. All I have is what is in front of me. I can choose to dwell in what it is not, or strive to find what it is.

I keep saying once I find a different job I will be happy, or once we buy a home  I will be happy, or once we have money I will be happy. But that is not what happiness is about. Happiness is about being happy no matter the circumstances. If you keep finding happiness in things you will never find it. There will always be something you dont have. I need to find a way to be happy now. Would money help, YES, but it is not the cause of my unhappiness. I was unhappy when I had money.

I dont know the answer. I dont have a secret trick. I just know that I need to be happy in the now. I cant change the past, but I can help shape the future. I am choosing to be positive and make the most of what we have here. Just today I had a day where  I wish I was back at home.

 

It can always be worse…

positive

Yesterday I had yet another health scare. I found a suspicious lump in my breast. The moment I found it pure terror flooded my mind. Then the thoughts of “why me”. Tears. Then finally some rational thought of “ok what next”. The whole experience has really grounded me. It can always be worse.

I was in the waiting room of the specialist office. My wonderful boyfriend took the day off to be with me. We were sitting there watching people come and go. Strong brave women. Some with tears, but all with smiles. They were all there for different reasons. Some just a check up, some getting results, some there just for support. Some had no hair (from cemo), some had no breast. I was so scared. I just had a pea size bump I was getting sonogramed. They were there, surviving.

After I got the sonogram done I went to a different room where the Dr. told me they wanted to biopsy it to be safe. The tears started to roll down my face. Fear. Anxiety. All of it. In the next waiting room a lady (there for a check up) came to me and just talked to me. She said it wasn’t as bad as I was making it out to be. She explained the process. Told me to always be positive. Then she went and got my boyfriend to help comfort me. She was so nice. She only said maybe 30 words to me. But it made a difference. I realized that this was not the worst thing that could happen. I had taken the right steps. The second I found it I got it checked. Women go through this every day. The place was packed. Women in all stages were there smiling, helping others through each step. It just took s simple smile and some reinsurance to make me look at the positive side of this situation.

Why can we not do this more for each other. You never know what someone is going through. Give them a  smile, a nod. Crack a joke in the check out line. If you see someone crying give them a hug. Let someone go in front of you in line. Let someone in on the highway. Pick up something someone dropped. Tell someone to have a great day. Little things!! You never know someones struggles. Just a simple smile can change someone life.

Two days ago I was talking about tipping the scale. All those issues seam small compared to today.  It can always be worse. The golden rule applies “Treat others as you would want to be treated.” That includes how you treat yourself. I have not been treating me, let alone anyone else, the way I want to be treated.

One small thing can go a long way. I didnt know the women, she didnt even tell me her name. But she made me feel loved and cared for. She was there when I needed it. Giving me the reinsurance I needed. My boyfriend was there, but he hasnt gone through this, she had. It was different. One simple gesture flipped my day from why me, to I can do this.

My struggles are my struggles but I do believe that helping others can help you help yourself. My goal is not to make myself happy, but others. By helping others I hope to find myself, but if I can give one person that feeling that wonderful lady gave me, I will consider myself successful!

This life is short. Anything can be taken from you at any time. Your hearing, your health, your eyesight, your family. Cherish it. Enjoy every second of it. Dont dwell on the what ifs. What is coming is coming. All you can do is react to it. Lets react with love.

#Make List = make change

#Tip the scale

#Believe in yourself

#Faith

 

 

 

Tipping the Scale

Poise
Symbol of scales is made of stones on the cliff

Life is all about balance. There are two sides to every coin. There is a Ying and a Yang. A Boy and a girl.  A Right and a Wrong. Good and Evil. We were all created in balance. You cannot have good times without the bad times. You cannot be right without having been wrong. We all start in balance, then life happens. From there it is our CHOICE to remain in balance or continue to be out of balance.

Though we all want to be in balance, it is easier to be out of balance. It is easier to blame than to take responsibility. It is easier to be negative than be optimistic. We all choose to be one or the other. Its OUR choice. Instead of saying “I have to water the stupid plants again”, say “oh a here is a chance to get up of my desk and move around.” Instead of saying “Why the f*** did you cut me off!”, say “I  hope everything is ok he was sure in a hurry.”  Or in the world of technology instead of getting mad that our cell phone doesnt work look up and say “I guess this is not the time” and enjoy the sun on your face.

Sounds easier said than done, but you will be shocked when you realize how many times a day you choose the easy route to be negative and complain. I have been taking the easy route for a few months now and it has gotten so bad it became depression. I need to get my life back into balance. I need to start looking at the bright side. I need to start being proud of myself. I need to start thinking optimistic thoughts, even if I don’t believe them. I know someday I will start to believe them again.

When ever I introduce someone to the LOA something bad always happens before something good does. It happened to me as well. When I was introduced to the LOA, I had a good life with a great guy, no debt, and many dreams. But once I started to think about having more and being better, everything fell apart. I do believe that that is part of the process. After I broke up with the guy, moved out, and moved home, I found better. I was in a better place with myself, I found my best friend and soul mate, I grew closer with my mom, I had goals. Then we decided to better our selves, move, and have an adventure. And everything went off balance again. When you tap into the LOA you attract what you need into your life, you also push out what you dont need. No one talks about that part. They only talk about the good stuff. But to get the good stuff you have to have the bad stuff.

Maybe the worse the bad stuff is, the better the good stuff is that is coming? (my optimism for the day – check)

All in all I am starting to restore my balance. I can now appreciate more things having been so low for so long. It is making it easier to see the good thing I do have. No one ever said it was easy, but they ALL say it is worth it.

Balance.

I am tipping the scale.

Lets do this!

Paradigm Shifting, Again

IMG_1681

Back in January I wrote about Paradigms and shifting my paradigm. It has been six months of struggling with my paradigm and I feel that things have gotten worse. But as I read that post again, I see that the goal was not to be better but to start change. The goal was to shift from my ordinary. Do something different.have an adventure. I had jumped out of my comfort zone and into a realm of unknown.

No one ever says change is easy. Lots has changed in my life. I have learned to budget better, I have learned to work more and harder, I have learned to prioritize, I have learned to not hold things in. I have learned that I need to have more respect for myself. I have learned what I was doing was OK, but to be great I need to change.

These past few months have been the hardest of my young 29 year life. I can either dwell on them or learn from them. I sit here again in Starbucks applying for my 50th job this week, and I have to consciously make the decision to be positive. It is not easy. I am learning that life hands you lemons, and in order to change you need to learn to make apple juice. I used to take it one day at a time. But soon that became to hard. Now I take it moment to moment.

I am changing, I am clearing out the bad to make room for the good. It is painful, but I have hope.

H.O.P.E = Hold On Pain Ends

I have faith that things will get better. But it all starts with me. Like I said in my last post. I need to start being proud of me. Once I master that I am sure it will all come together. You need a strong foundation in order build up. I have been knocked down to rock bottom and before I can go up I need to strengthen my foundation. I need to strengthen me. I need to push out the bad. Force myself to see the good. Make it a habit. Make it my Paradigm.

I used to do this daily, but I am not that person any more. I am so different than I was before. Before I didn’t know struggle, I didn’t know defeat, fear, or loss of pride. I was a great 125lb sexy, college graduate with the whole world in front of her. It just so happens that it slapped her in the face. This new me has different needs. This new me has different strengths. It is time to begin this life and stop dwelling on the past. I am a new work of art. A masterpiece.

One moment at a time.

Make List

Make Change

Find ME.

$80,000 a year

128lbs

All by September

GOALS

 

The Power of Choices

maze
Qtpfsgui 1.9.1 tonemapping parameters: Operator: Drago Parameters: Bias: 0.92 —— PreGamma: 0.2

There are millions of quotes on life and millions of programs to help you figure out what your purpose is. There are even more motivational movements and empowering stories. But even with all this positive enforcement, with all this information we have available to us, I find it is impossible to follow unless we make one definitive decision.

With all these programs, Life Coaches, and self-help books, we have an unlimited un-excusable amount of information to help us live the life of our dreams. So why are we not doing it. Why isn’t everyone living their dream life? Why are we sitting here in debt up to our eyeballs, day dreaming at our desk, wishing for that better life?

I believe it is because most of us are unable to make that one defining decision. We all want out of this mess, there is no denying that. We all want to live like Kim and Kanye. We all want to not struggle. We are just unable to make the ONE defining decision that will change our life. It is just one Decision and we cannot seem to make it. That decision is defining that ONE THING we want to do in life and doing it.

That’s it, decide what we want to do and do it.

Fear is an amazing emotion. It is so powerful and can be used in so many ways. I believe that fear is the main reason most of us cannot make this definitive choice. I personally have the fear of making the wrong choice. I have so many things that I am good at, and make me happy. How do you choose just one? I feel most of us are in this boat. We all have so many grand ideas of what we want to do or be, it seem impossible to just pick one. It’s not because we are indecisive, or don’t have time, or don’t think we can do it. It is because we are afraid it will be the wrong choice.

What if this isn’t the right job. Or the right field. Or the right direction. It is scary to think all that hard work will be for nothing and we will live forever in regret for making that choice.

The thing we need to realize is that once we make the decision and stick with it, the universe conspires to make it happen. If we choose one thing and stick with it tell the end the universe will work fast to get it to you. If you don’t back out and go all ahead full, you will get what you ask for quickly. Once you have it you can only THEN can you decide if this is what you wanted. If not start the process over again.

I have always admired my boyfriend for his ability to make decisions. He is always so confident and definitive, never an ounce of regret. I finally asked him how he does it and his answer surprised me. He said “I just pick one. I think it would be awesome to be a Carpenter, or an Engineer, or even starting my own business would be great! But I picked Construction Management and that is what I am going to do for now. At least tell the next opportunity comes along.”

Boom. Mind. Blown.

He is just like me, he has dreams of doing more than just one thing, he thinks there are a number of jobs that he would be amazing at. He just picked one and is going 100%! I was listening to Lori Harder a motivational speaker and life coach the other day and her message was; follow your curiosities because they will lead you to opportunities and people that have the same curiosities. By meeting new people you get opened up to new opportunities. So by sticking with one thing, and going balls to the walls with it, you never know who or what will come from it.

Now the hard part. Picking one.

There is no wrong answer, just solutions. Once you try one way, you find out one of two things. 1. You love what you do and it is your purpose, or 2. This is great but not what I want to do forever. You have ANSWERS! You crossed one off the list. You tried it, you made memories from it, you learned from it. Use those things to attract the next thing to you! Who cares if you are wrong? If you go 100% it will happen fast enough for you to change your mind and try again. Or it will lead you to someone that has an opportunity that would not have been available if you hadn’t done it.

The key is, to make the choice and go 100% with it.

Don’t look back. Just go. Do it with the passion and enthusiasm that you have made the right choice. Think about all the doors that will open and people you will meet. Step one is making the choice. Step two is doing it 100%. Step three is deciding that it is or is not your purpose.

Now for me to just take my own advice.

GO!

It is Time to Start FEELING

feelings

So I am in the process of re listening to The Power by Rhonda Byrne (I get something new out of it every time I listen to it), and I think I have figured out what action I need to take in my life. I need to start FEELING my thoughts.

Sounds silly but I don’t FEEL enough. I read all of these inspiring positive quotes all day every day, but I don’t really feel inspired or positive. I talk positive and smile and look at the glass half full, but I don’t FEEL any of it. I am only trying to focus my mind, but my body and soul don’t respond. It is almost like I am so disappointed in life that I don’t allow my self to feel anything. Yet I know there is more to this life. I know this is just a phase, a test, I just need to have faith. Instead of stressing about what I need to do to be in alignment for a career or my ideal weight, I am doing to allow myself to Feel my emotions.

The other day when my boyfriend got laid off I didn’t allow myself to feel any of the emotions that surged through me. I just pushed them back, and put on a smile and pushed forward. I didn’t allow my self to be scared, cry, or show any disappointment. I just was. Tell one night it all caught up to me and I cried my eyes out for a good ten minutes. Once I cried it all out, I picked my self up and we made a plan of attack. The very next day the check that I was waiting on (that got “lost” in the mail) arrived. Coincidence?

I need to start doing thing that make me feel good and actually feel it. I need to allow myself to feel my emotions. I need to put my phone down (the thing that distracts me from the real world) and really feel what life is bringing me.

It is OK to feel sad once in a while. Just let the feeling come, have it, then move on. Rhonda said in The Power ” without the bad feelings we would know the good ones.” Don’t bathe in them, just acknowledge them and move on. Being numb from the bad feelings also means you are numb from the good feelings.

My ACT is going to be, do the thing that make me feel good and deliberately take a moment to BE IN THE MOMENT TO FEEL IT. I am going to have to make myself be present, and feel the full feeling. It sounds silly and easy but I have been numb for a while now I am kinda nervous. I don’t really know how to do this. At least I am aware that I need to and I am going to try.

One Step at a time…Lets Go!